I am falling
trying to catch myself
nobody
can help me

Long Pretense

Long Pretense

I just pretend
        to be a student
        to be a translator
        to be an actress
        to be a wife
        to be a mother 
        to be a lover
        to be a friend
        to be a sculptor
        to be a cook
        to be a baker
        to be a gardener
        to be a potter
        to be a photographer
        to be a jeweler
        to be a grandmother
        to be a poet

No pretense being a kid
Thinking doesn't get in the way

I will get caught, I know

 

a Dream

Just found a dream I wrote down 3-24-2004

I was back home at my parent's house getting ready to go to school in the morning, was totally scattered and not able to get things done. Thee was lots of activity in the house by other family members.
I decided to just be late for school that day to have more time to get ready. Since that didn't help much I asked my father whether I could have the car to drive to school. He hesitated first but then gave in. When my mother found out, she carefully asked me whether I could take the street car instead and be late, since htey needed the car during the day. I thought it was ok as long as my sister would drive me to the next street car stop.
Karen Greendale came and questioned me on me chenging my mind about that too many times. She thought this was definitely not a good thing and that she didn't like it. I said but don't you have to change your mind sometimes when you are halfway through a project and realize you want to go a different way or if it was wrong.She wasn't convinced.
Annette Nanes was there too, was very agitated  and busy and running around fast.I remarked that I had nevr seen her so hectic before. (there were others but I don't remember)
Bill Wilson turned up all of a sudden. He sat at the table for a while before I noticed him. He was younger. He was wondering what we did with his laundry bag we had brought back for him from Mexico. He said he had therefore no clean sheets. I offered him some clean ones form us to borrow. Iasked him about the size of his bed, Full or Queen, but he couldn't remember. Ed and I decided it probably would be a Full one. Bill showed me his new pants. they were kind of khaki colored with very wide legs and some kind of flat sheets in the front which were iridescent. He liked them a lot. I liked them too. He told me he like especially the low pockets down at the shin. I asked him whether stuff in the wouldn't bump around and onto his leg everytime he took a step. He said that was the only disadvantage.

Dreams
are pictures from the
parallel life
we are leading
dark in the night
deep in the universe

I am always drawn to
ephemeral beauty

the little things
the ugly things
the beautiful things
washed down the drain

I will never see
mine,
will someone catch it
for me

like a butterfly
with a net?